Senior Story Numero Un.
Senior Citizen Nakie Day. Who could ever ask for a better holiday? I mean .. who wouldn't want to see that sagging meat
and loose skin? The whiteness contrasts the blackness, making it seem somewhat surreal. But! The problem is the tan people.
When the tan people stand by the whites and the blacks, the whites and blacks instantly explode. Yet, their is a protection
against these "white/black killers." Ok. So. Sit outside a tanning salon with a shotgun. Whenever you see someone
try to walk in, threaten them once. If they do not heed it, shoot them. BUT! Remember. They can only be old, tanning people.
Cause, its Senior Citizens Nakie Day ... EVERYDAY! And ... there is no use in shooting some random person. Hell. Why not just
steal their wallet or purse? But dont get hit by a cheesewheel while you are doing it. Those things are deadly. I mean, when
they roll over you, you get sucked into the cheesewheel. Its quite miraculous actually. You couldnt imagine the amount of
gnomes that work in a cheesewheel. But. When they see you, they rip out your ovalries. But, if you dont have ovalries, you
are screwed. Only the tan people have those. So. Actually. Kill all the tan people. Then you can steal their ovalries and
not die from the gnomes that work in the cheesewheel! Oh. Did I not mention that you can bring in apple pies to counter the
gnomes? They are weak against them! Not just apples ... but apple pie. Just ... throw a cinder block at them. It wont die
from the cinder block, but once it sees you eating the apple pie, it spontaneously combusts into confetti. Where the hell
do you think Factory Card Outlet gets confetti? DId you ever look in the back? All it is is gnomes in cages and cinderblocks!
Which is why the sky is blue. But, that wont be long. Soon it will be orange, from ... the oranges. Those things eat people,
you know. Everytime a person is missing, that just means another orange has taken a victim. Just look in your fridge and look
at one! I mean, come on. Look at how vicious those damn things look! Thats why people are the color they are. :D
Remember kids. Dont forget about Senior Citizens Nakie Day. Support your grandma and grandpa! Then you get to see them
This is the P and the L, signing out.
(A picture to produce our point.)